MIND GAMES

I would say it's probably just me but I do know were not in this alone. I hope.

Recently I seem to be struggling with my thoughts. All kinds of craziness going on in there. It is like none of the things that I want nor what was there a couple months ago, is in there. All the God stuff is gone. Replaced by evil thoughts and/or emotions. And unless you're 3 years old we generally are expected to think before we act thus I'm wondering what is going on up there. If I had acted on the thoughts I probably would have given another driver the finger right before I ran him off the road. AGGHHHH!

A friend of mine once said, "I am a thief and a liar. I covet other peoples possessions constantly. I have impure thoughts, lust. I have extreme bouts of anger. And that's just since I accepted Christ."

One problem I see within my self is that I think that I can "self-help". I can even do christian things and be in a self-help mode. Jesus saw this at work and talked about it in John Chp 5:39

³⁹ You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me,

 

It's about why you are reading the scriptures. It's all about Jesus. The Bible alone cannot change me. It cannot "fix" me. It cannot change my mind. Jesus talked about prayer the same way. You know the guy standing in the front vs the tax collector in the back.

 

A scripture that was on my heart through this last week.

Ps 51:10-12

 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,    and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me from your presence    or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

I am unable to "self-help". I cannot do it on my own. You know the whole potter and the clay thing. God is the one who makes the changes within you.  Leading us, teaching us, molding us.

 

Ps 139: 23-2423Search me, God, and know my heart;    test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me,    and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

God I'm tired. Tired of life as I know it. I know you're as close as ever but something doesn't seem right. Restore me to the place I once was. Protect me against the evil of this world, the corruption of my own mind. Give me your thoughts, your love, your insight. To say I am unable is not drastic enough, You are Emmanuel, Abba, the God of our Fathers, Glory be your name. Help us.